Hello beautiful friends,
JOY, it’s something we can all relate to isn’t it? Or is it? Does uninhibited laughter bubble out of you? Do frequent attacks of smiling interrupt your day? Are you happy for no good reason? Or does a dark cloud of worry, pessimism or fear hang over you and take the zing out of your ‘happy’?
There was a time when I failed the ‘JOY Test’ in psychotherapy! I sailed through ‘Crying’ with a higher distinction and blitzed ‘Angry’ but I just couldn’t convince the judges that I could do JOY! True story. You do some mad things in psychotherapy courses. Mad but revealing. I remember crying after I couldn’t ‘get’ JOY! In retrospect, too, too funny. LOL.
Fast forward to now, and I’m happy to say that I don’t need a judge to tell me that I know JOY, I feel JOY – I DO JOY WELL thank you very much.
And so, the path to JOY – the path I’ve trodden to claim my JOY -is about to be revealed. Here’s a story of what ‘The JoyQ Way’ is and how it came about.
‘The JoyQ Way’ is a process, following ‘The 8 Natural Laws of Life’, which gives you a deep understanding of the mind-body connection, the tools and the power to transform mental and emotional discomfort to JOY and to experience more joy in your life every day.
With TJQW I have taken the most powerful Universal, spiritual and psychological teachings that I’ve learnt and practiced over the last 22 years and put them together in a way that guides you step by step to peace or JOY.
Once you know the steps you’ll be able to take yourself at any given moment, in any state, whatever you’re thinking and feeling and whatever’s happening around you in your life and create a greater sense of lightness and JOY.
I discovered this process back in 2002 following a decade of personal development training and meditation and having successfully transformed my depression, however in this moment when ‘The JoyQ Way’ was birthed, I was facing a crisis at home and in my career. It was thankfully to be the last time I really hit the ground! And it was a brief episode but one I obviously had to have as it changed my life forever.
As my perceived ‘crisis’ hit home I was laying in bed one morning and a sense of fear and anxiety came over me. It felt like there was a dark black hole in the pit of my stomach.
Multiple scenarios of equally dismal futures played out in my mind and flashed before my eyes. With the presence of this fear, my thoughts had turned ugly… “I’ll never have what I want….nothing ever goes my way in life…….I’m all alone…..no one loves me…..it’s all hopeless.” And on and on went the voice.
In the moments that the black thoughts ceased temporarily, my mind would go crazy with all the many teachings and understandings about life, that I’d learnt over the previous 10 years, searching my mental library for the bit of wisdom that could help alleviate my angst in that moment… so I was either in the black hole or dizzy!
From the void came a light...
At some point in this uncomfortable madness, out of the blue (sorry about the pun) and into focus, came what I now consider to be the greatest ‘Truth’ ever told about life, which is that ‘This Very Moment Is All There Is’.
This hit a chord for me, resounding through my mind and stopping my endless negative thoughts in their tracks. I became fascinated by this concept and began to explore what it really meant for me right then and there in that moment, in the midst of my discomfort.
“This Very Moment is All There Is” and all I have.
This became my starting point. So I began to practice being exactly where and how I was in that moment with the complete and utter exclusion of anything else that my mind came up with.
Every time a thought came up that wasn’t about this precise moment, like a past disappointment or a negative projection into the future, I let it go and returned my awareness to what was happening, particularly within me, in this moment.
As I held myself in this moment, other ‘truths’ – Universal wisdom and practices that I had learnt, came to me that I could follow simultaneously, to further anchor myself to the present and only the present. After a while I realized that there was a pattern in what I was doing and as I did it I began to feel more at ease in my darkness. So I kept repeating it and repeating it and repeating it until……. I don’t know quite how long I was there ………… bang! A LIGHT BULB MOMENT happened, a momentous shift.
Suddenly blackness turned to white and darkness to light. It was literally like a flash of lightening went through me. My thoughts changed, my emotions changed and my energy changed. The black pit of fear in my stomach dissipated to nothing. I was transformed! I felt completely different and I literally leapt out of bed elated and full of JOY. It was exhilarating albeit somewhat puzzling.
What just happened? ...
In retrospect I realise that this was one of those miraculous moments of ‘Enlightenment’ that I’ve read about. One of those rare moments, when a new awareness or insight dawns within you and suddenly your reality changes forever. This moment was so powerful for me that I felt a shift mentally, emotionally and physiologically as well.
And so a process was born. Soon after that day I began to reflect on what had happened, how it happened and why it happened. I put together the key spiritual wisdoms and practices that I had followed and then continued to practice this process whenever I was feeling any emotional discomfort.
Sometimes over the years I’d forget though too and find myself immersed in a drama before I woke up and took charge. And that’s okay too. Sometimes you just have to have a bit of emotional angst before you’re able to consciously do something about it. It’s part of the process of getting clear about how you feel. You know- that’s the bit where women just want men to listen (not fix it damn you!)….. ring a bell?
So don’t think that I don’t still have a few meltdowns every now and then. Ups and downs are part of the process of life and being human. If you’re not having them then you’re probably just stuffing a lot down and that’s not good because I’m here to tell you – it doesn’t go away…
Time does not heal, it simply hides. What heals, is embracing how you feel with awareness.
So whether it’s meltdowns or a minor glitch I’m happy to say that with ‘The JoyQ Way’ as my trusty companion over many years, I’m now in the enviable position of being able to ease discomfort and lift my spirits at any given moment and……
My lows are higher, my highs are higher and there’s a great deal more highs than lows.
SUCCESS! It’s exciting too, to note that the principles contained in ‘The JoyQ Way’ are now being taught to varying degrees in Counselling and Psychotherapy and have also been validated by scientific research, though even the most forward thinking scientists agree that there’s still a bit of inexplicable magic in the process of emotional healing and psychological and spiritual growth.
So what can ‘The JoyQ Way’ do for you? Well ‘The JoyQ Way’ is for you if you’d like to:-
Feel better anytime you want to!
Ease anxiety, sadness, anger or depression
Free yourself of negative thoughts forever
Release yourself from the past
Find peace and calm when the ‘shizzle’ hits the fan
Express yourself with confidence
Experience more love and intimacy in relationships
Feel more JOYful and alive
EnJOY increased energy
So if any of that list appeals to you here’s a taste of ‘The JoyQ Way’, a practice that you can start today and meanwhile stay tuned for a lot more in subsequent blogs.
‘The JoyQ Way’ process is about you making a positive change in you. Hence you begin by becoming more familiar with HOW YOU ARE NOW.
So, take a moment in stillness and silence. Find out what you’re thinking. Acknowledge the thoughts you’re having. It doesn’t matter what they are. Then notice how you’re feeling when you think these thoughts. What’s behind the thoughts? Is it love, kindness, resentment, criticism, excitement, impatience…? That’s it. Find out what’s going on energetically in your body, beyond your actual thoughts.
You may be very surprised what this little step can hold for you. You may not realise just how much tension occurs in many different forms in your mind and your body until you start to look. Self-awareness is the first step on the path…. anywhere.
Start practicing right now.
Walking my path to JOY.