Hello beautiful friends,
Feelings are like waves, we can’t stop them coming but we can learn how to surf.
Well it’s late January already and the year is in full swing. What’s this year looking like for you? Are you sticking to New Years’ resolutions? Do you have a plan? Or are you just taking it one day at a time?
Whatever’s happening there’s one thing I know for sure.
Whatever you do in life is going to be easier and turn out so much better when you feel good inside.
Feeling is actually the reason why we do everything in life, as Louise Hay says “feeling good is our primary goal in life.” All the things we do and have, like eating, drinking, clothes, exercise, our home, relationships, work and travel, we choose to make us feel good.
So today I’d like to help you to make friends with your emotions.
Discover what emotions are, how emotions are actually essential to feeling good and how you can take your emotions, become the quintessential alchemist and ride ‘em on ‘home’ to more peace and JOY. Surf’s up…
This is a taster of some of the profound understandings we explore in the JoyQ Way Retreat. Click here for more details and the date of next retreat.
I love emotion! Yes I do!
Why… because … our emotions are the source of our aliveness and JOY.
They’re the essence of who we are. We are essentially, a field of pulsing energy and ‘e-motion’ simply means… energy-in-motion. So this energy can be subtle or bold ranging from minor shifts in our mood, vitality and bodily sensations to more tangible feelings of JOY, love, sadness, anger or fear.
Emotion is never separate from us or our thoughts at any time.
There’s emotion in being patient, compassionate, focused, respectful, confident, lethargic, courageous, passionate, contented, vulnerable, loyal, excited, withdrawn, adventurous…
'Emotion’ is essentially the attitude, behind your thoughts, which you feel as energy through your physical body.
Hence being in touch with your emotions is about honouring your energetic self, your body and learning to live in greater harmony with all parts of yourself, not just your mind and your physical body.
Our emotions are here to help.
We are amazing creatures, our bodies contain great wisdom and I strongly believe that:-
Life is designed to foster life.
The emotions and energies that arise in our minds and bodies on a moment-by-moment basis are showing us the way to health, happiness and new life. By living in tune with these emotional energies, we’re guided to make choices in our thoughts, words and actions that support our health and happiness.
Consider the opposite. We’ve probably all done it in our busy pre-programmed lives… not listened to that little voice in our head or to our body’s signs and allowed certain habits or conditions to continue for too long before symptoms arise and we’re way out of balance … guilty!
And when major, very tangible emotions arise … celebrate the pleasurable ones and welcome in the uncomfortable … because either way it means that it’s time for real change to occur and to learn something new. Simply put:-
You’ve got to feel to grow.
As we ‘grow’ and become more emotionally mature we embody more of the desirable emotions such as JOY, peace, compassion, respect, love and wisdom. The art of growing through uncomfortable emotions is all in your attitude and how you express them or not. Read on… all will be revealed.
We can be so much more.
Before we get to the real jewel there’s just one more aspect about emotions to appreciate.
We are all different in our ability to tune into and to feel our emotions and physical energy. Some of us are better at it than others. Also through conditioning, culture and busy lifestyles most of us have reservoirs of emotion in our unconscious mind/body from experiences we’ve had in the past and haven’t fully integrated. I call it ‘Unlived Experience’.
And I want you to know that it’s not all bad! Far from it …
We can have fabulous emotions hidden away, like more JOY, passion and love, if for example as a child, we’ve been taught to be more reserved.
However much is hidden within though, unconscious or suppressed emotion, stifles your life force and limits your capacity to be fully alive, healthy and happy and expressing all of your unique self.
You see it’s just not possible to suppress one emotion like anger and express all the others freely. It doesn’t work like that. Holding onto that anger causes an energetic dam in your body interrupting the flow of other feel-good emotions as well.
So actively practising being aware of how you feel as well as finding ways to help bring your unconscious emotion to the surface, like making time for quiet reflection, meditation and/or yoga or seeking the help of a professional, gives you the opportunity to free that energy, grow and live every day more open, real and joyful.
The jewel is in the feeling.
So what do you do when you’ve got it then and you’re feeling something? Many people think that emotions, especially ones like sadness and anger, are something that you just have to get through and get over, so you can return to being the person you were before. NO. It’s so much more than that.
Every emotion fully felt and expressed creates a new mind-body link and energy pattern, which in turn creates a beneficial change in the way we think, feel and behave, if we just let it.
It’s just like learning a new skill. We start out clumsy and awkward and with practice our actions become svelte and effortless.
Why people miss out on the ‘gold’ in their experience is because they judge themselves, their thoughts, their emotions and the circumstances that gave rise to them as wrong instead of realising that everything arises for a purpose at the perfect time, according to our inner state and the growth of our soul.
It also helps to embrace the fact that at any time we’re all doing our best and whilst everything that happens to us isn’t necessarily good, we can learn from it and thus find the good in it.
So how do you become the surfing alchemist (combining both my metaphors!) and make ‘gold’ from pain, sadness, anger and fear?
Your first step is to inject an attitude of love and acceptance. Firstly accept yourself and the circumstances you find yourself in. It’s already happened. You’re here now. Accept the past and deal with what’s here, now, in the present. Our minds can fabricate thoughts, live in the past and fantasize endlessly about the future. So accept your thoughts but then let them go. The real truth of the moment can be found in your feelings.
Step two- feel your feelings. This is how you ride your emotions:-
Feel it, feel it, feel it.
As you allow the energy of sadness to ‘emote’ through you, you’ll probably want to sit, lie down or rest and as you let the tears fall unimpeded, you’ll feel softer and more relaxed.
With anger, you’ll feel tension and energy flowing rapidly through your body; you may want to move, speak or make a sound which unleashes a new sense of strength, assertiveness and power within you.*
With fear as you stay present and overcome the urge to run or hide you will learn presence and the resolve to stand firm and grounded.
(*With anger, to maintain kindness and respect in relationships practice on your own first. Only speak to others when the charge has dissipated.)
And when your energy is spent, the charge has subsided and you come out the other side you’ll find that:-
Your sadness is the seed of compassion. Your anger is the seed of respect. Compassion and respect are the seeds of love and Love is the seed of JOY.
So when you feel an emotion, that’s it, ride it! This is your pathway to evolve. As you feel this emotion consciously, your mind and body are learning a new skill. This is mind-body union. This is pure Yoga. You’ll know that you’ve integrated the emotion and it’s transforming when new, more optimistic thoughts begin to arise spontaneously and you feel better … lighter … happier.
Some emotions are light and some are deep, so if your discomfort persists then continue to practice acceptance and non-judgement and feel your feelings, all the time asking yourself, “how is this experience and what I’m feeling now of benefit to me?” Look for the jewel. Eventually the feeling will transform completely and you’ll notice that the circumstances that gave rise to these emotions either change as well or your perception of them changes.
Need some help and support? … I’m here for individual JoyQ Mentoring sessions and group sessions with the JoyQ Way Retreat. Click here for more details on the retreat or contact me for all enquiries.
What I’ve shared today is but the tip of the iceberg and yet this simple practice holds the potential for profound benefits. The highest truths in life are always amazingly simple.
I’ll leave you with this mantra:-
I let my thoughts go, breathe and feel my emotions with loving acceptance.
With feeling & JOY,